for Sonia and others :)

What do you feel while passing flowering mango trees on your road?

What do you think when during this walk on both sides the gardens are hiding the small houses of people who has chosen their lives to live by the river that refreshes you each morning when all your dreams and problems vanish with its strong current, where you feel like in the mother's womb, where all is good and still unexplored, where you are connected with all by the tiny string of perception through your heart?

What do you see while staring into the drops of water falling in front of you in the magnificent flamboyant saturation of your own?

What would you like to whisper when your soul is there where you always dreamed to be? while walking down the road with the moonlight on your back, with the monkeys screaming around and two buffaloes following both of you in the same vibration as yours, you just are.

What would you feel while sitting alone in your regular dining place you see the presence of all, your closer ones and those farther ones.

You are alone but not any more. And this aloneliness is the most appreciated moment. Where even the waitress is staring into the far distance of falling night vanishing as you into the oneness that is felt and never talked about.


And you? Where are you and what do you think about?


Are you with me? Do you follow what I am writing about?

Sonia you for sure understand me :)


I am still in India where my English is getting worse and worse, where the Sun is shining and Loki drifting in the waves of Ganga, where bonfires illuminate through the nights to surprise with it's pinkish glows on whitish sand and greenish waters of life still flowing by side and inside, where wind is touching gently the waves of unsuppressed expression of love..... here... there... now... then... ..............



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and people are coming and going. the time is given and there is nothing you can do about it. so better enjoy!!! and don't think what you will do next summer on not even this autumn. And pray to the sky because of Sun and because of rain. pray to whatever you want and be grateful for your being, or maybe rather for your consciousness of all, and pray even more for this consciousness to let go things happen and accept them as they are. Drift with the flow and smile, and be good to other people, and don't judge because maybe one day you will be and then incarnated into the indian dog you will have one hell of a life. Passing and dogs...... yes.... I met Roger in Rishikesh five weeks ago. French man with longer hair and dense mustache, always on ease, drinking chai and talking to people that by chance have sit by his side. Once we talked about the dogs and he told me that he has also one back home in France, and that he waits to get back and that he has a fly ticket on 8th of April and that his wife knows when he will be back and his dog doesn't so he is waiting each day the same, each day is eternity and for dog Roger is no more there. He had few tears in his eyes while talking about his labrador. And also he had even few more three weeks later when we went to the hospital and the doctor said that he has rabies. Roger was a brave man. More brave than anyone I have met that facing the death he was just sitting there on a chair while i was crying on his arm, firm and calm, uttering only one sentence - it is just like this. Roger was a crazy man but not because of his disease, he was crazy about life, crazy about the moment, crazy about our presence, about the love and friendship that we gave him with Mika during this night and day when we were with him. And we still are. Still we are sitting in front of the Hospital, still Roger is eating oranges, still the sun is setting, we still are waiting for ambulance that french embassy is supossed to send for him, to bring him to Delhi and maybe fly to France. Still the demon of disease is hidden and doesn't show off because of love that we all share and life that we are all living together. Just before Roger left he was setting up camera and then running during the ten seconds he got to sit between me and Mika and smile and laugh. All the Indians were looking at us as if we all had the same disease, the all knew us already after we spend ten hours in this hospital, and they have seen Roger while having panic attacks because of the wind, water, blood, and other people. We forgot!!! We were there laughing and sharing. We thought we will visit him in France during the summer, that maybe this Rabies is not really Rabies, that maybe he just went mad, that maybe he will be again with his dog sailing on French shore in the rays of summer ligth.

And he does. That was the last time I have seen him. It was one day before he died. I have put up the candles, and pray to all the gods of India and Tibet, I laid down on my bed and I crossed my hands on my heart. I knew that he will die and that he is in coma, and that he will not do it till France, but i still believed and I still wanted to give him a healing. Through the corridors of time and space, through amazing shapes of universe on the wings of light I took him away from the demon that possessed his body and mind and then we drifted and drifted and drifted into to place where I knew was his heaven and where I know he is now at this moment. He was sailing with his yellow Labrador on his sailing boat, behind there was his house in a distance, the sun was shining and the wind was strong. Roger was smiling in his fullest and purest smile, he was keeping his right hand on his dog and left on the steer.

Two days later Mika called embassy and heard that Roger passed away a day before.




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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sonYFxHHvaM&feature=related


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